Month #5

Today is May 1. I am down 34 pounds total. The more time passes. The less impressive that # seems to me. Crazy huh? I'm not gonna lie. I am not near as excited about all this weight loss stuff as I was in the beginning weeks. That doesn't mean I have given up. I am still going. Every day is a struggle. Some days more so than others. My work schedule is all screwed up this month which means my routine has been totally thrown out the window. I am tired of eating the same things yet I am so picky about "healthy" stuff. This is my goal for this month. I need to explore my options. Get some new food into my diet. My husband has been a champ. He has been my biggest fan! He eats all of these healthy meals and even likes most of them! I have an additional obstacle because I have to be certain he is getting ALL of his calories and at the same time keeping my self under my daily limit.

Lazy. The last 2 weeks I have been lazy. I don't want to plan my meals but I know if I don't. I will eat crap and FEEL like crap.

"FAIL TO PLAN. PLAN TO FAIL." - Benjamin Franklin

I have been doing "ok" on my exercise. This last week I have bumped my daily step goal from 10k-14k. I realized that 10k was just mediocre and I could do MORE if I pushed.

I started Phentermine at the beginning of April. I was expecting BIG things from this drug but have kinda been disappointed. I was started on 15mg and after about a week and a half, I doubled this because I had no weight loss. When I started taking the drug, I was nervous about the rapid heart rate but my body has gotten used to it. I am losing "roughly" 2 pounds a week which is healthy I suppose but not as dramatic as I thought it would be.

The 3rd week of April I went back to the Dr. Vitals were great and she increased my dose to the max.(37.5mg) She said FDA recommends short term use (2 months) but  as long as I am losing weight I will continue. What I do like about this drug...and at the same time scares me because at some point I know I will have to go off of it is...ENERGY!

I feel like I can fly.

Not kidding.

My house is spotless. I am a super star at work (in my mind anyway). 

This weekend was the Stanberry City Wide Sales. It rained. I wasn't expecting much but did go to 2 inside sales. One was at the church. I knew the lady that was working the check out stand. She looked amazing. I hadn't seen her in a long time. She said she was down 50 pounds. I thought to myself. That is amazing! What an accomplishment!!! Will I ever be able to say that? She had a ton of clothes for sale that were now too big for her and some were too big for me as well. I did buy some scrubs that were an XL. (I have been wearing 2XL and a couple 3XL). Brought them home and ALL OF THEM fit. Some snugger than I would wear to work at this time because I like my clothes loose. I wanna be comfortable. My husband said the tight ones look "great" but he's a man. His opinion is irrelevant!

I have 2 pairs of jeans. They both fit. They both fit loosely. I went shopping to buy my boys some new clothes and looked for me and I thought. Why would I buy now? I don't intend to stay this size. When I get down to 165 (my first BIG goal). I will buy a pair. A pair of expensive jeans. That will be my treat to myself. 

I have earned it!!!

To all of you who are or ever have struggled with your weight. It is NOT easy. In fact? It's hard as hell! It's a struggle. Every single day it is a struggle. I admire these fit people. They work for it! It does not come naturally! But what I have learned is it is possible. 

"HARD WORK. DEDICATION." - Dolvett Quince

Current Weight: 182