Month #5

Today is May 1. I am down 34 pounds total. The more time passes. The less impressive that # seems to me. Crazy huh? I'm not gonna lie. I am not near as excited about all this weight loss stuff as I was in the beginning weeks. That doesn't mean I have given up. I am still going. Every day is a struggle. Some days more so than others. My work schedule is all screwed up this month which means my routine has been totally thrown out the window. I am tired of eating the same things yet I am so picky about "healthy" stuff. This is my goal for this month. I need to explore my options. Get some new food into my diet. My husband has been a champ. He has been my biggest fan! He eats all of these healthy meals and even likes most of them! I have an additional obstacle because I have to be certain he is getting ALL of his calories and at the same time keeping my self under my daily limit.

Lazy. The last 2 weeks I have been lazy. I don't want to plan my meals but I know if I don't. I will eat crap and FEEL like crap.

"FAIL TO PLAN. PLAN TO FAIL." - Benjamin Franklin

I have been doing "ok" on my exercise. This last week I have bumped my daily step goal from 10k-14k. I realized that 10k was just mediocre and I could do MORE if I pushed.

I started Phentermine at the beginning of April. I was expecting BIG things from this drug but have kinda been disappointed. I was started on 15mg and after about a week and a half, I doubled this because I had no weight loss. When I started taking the drug, I was nervous about the rapid heart rate but my body has gotten used to it. I am losing "roughly" 2 pounds a week which is healthy I suppose but not as dramatic as I thought it would be.

The 3rd week of April I went back to the Dr. Vitals were great and she increased my dose to the max.(37.5mg) She said FDA recommends short term use (2 months) but  as long as I am losing weight I will continue. What I do like about this drug...and at the same time scares me because at some point I know I will have to go off of it is...ENERGY!

I feel like I can fly.

Not kidding.

My house is spotless. I am a super star at work (in my mind anyway). 

This weekend was the Stanberry City Wide Sales. It rained. I wasn't expecting much but did go to 2 inside sales. One was at the church. I knew the lady that was working the check out stand. She looked amazing. I hadn't seen her in a long time. She said she was down 50 pounds. I thought to myself. That is amazing! What an accomplishment!!! Will I ever be able to say that? She had a ton of clothes for sale that were now too big for her and some were too big for me as well. I did buy some scrubs that were an XL. (I have been wearing 2XL and a couple 3XL). Brought them home and ALL OF THEM fit. Some snugger than I would wear to work at this time because I like my clothes loose. I wanna be comfortable. My husband said the tight ones look "great" but he's a man. His opinion is irrelevant!

I have 2 pairs of jeans. They both fit. They both fit loosely. I went shopping to buy my boys some new clothes and looked for me and I thought. Why would I buy now? I don't intend to stay this size. When I get down to 165 (my first BIG goal). I will buy a pair. A pair of expensive jeans. That will be my treat to myself. 

I have earned it!!!

To all of you who are or ever have struggled with your weight. It is NOT easy. In fact? It's hard as hell! It's a struggle. Every single day it is a struggle. I admire these fit people. They work for it! It does not come naturally! But what I have learned is it is possible. 

"HARD WORK. DEDICATION." - Dolvett Quince

Current Weight: 182

WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY STEP 2: THE BEGINNING.

Decided to create a blog just for my weight loss journey! Soooo....welcome!

As you know, a huge New Year's Resolution for me was to lose weight. I started this journey Jan 1 (or maybe a few days before) weight 216. Today, 3 months later, I weigh 193. Yes this is an accomplishment but nowhere near where I want it to be. 1 pound a week? I workout AT LEAST 5 days a week and average 8-12k in steps a day. My diet is good. I have all healthy food in my house. My grocery bill has gone up because it's so expensive to eat healthy.

My husband has been more than supportive as I try new recipes every week and he has liked all of them (or so he said...ha). I know I have been moody. I hate dieting. It's slow. It's frustrating and while there are many "good" healthy foods I still feel as if I am punishing myself because I can't eat the donuts that everyone else is eating.

Support team is key! I have a few friends from work and we have created a Facebook group just for us to encourage one another and support each other. It has helped a lot. It keeps me going.

Yesterday, I went to the Dr. for the first time in forever (insert Frozen song here). I went because I have been depressed. Some the weather. Some this time of the year is my LEAST favorite. Some is problems at work. Some is problems at home/money. And some...alot is my frustration with weight loss. My body is all over the place and I even gain weight sometimes. UGH!!! I know my period/ovulation messes up the scale but I see a # and that's it!

While I was at the Dr. office yesterday, we talked about many things. She has been my Dr. for years and she understood my concerns regarding depression/anxiety. She prescribed meds that I hope will perk me up a bit. We then talked about my weight loss and I explained to her how frustrated I was and her thoughts on a diet pill. She was hesitant at first and said my BMI was a little high but I didn't have far to go to get in range. She prescribed a very low dose of Phentermine. She explained all the possible side effects and I admit...it scared me a bit. I know how important I am to my family which is the reason I am trying to lose this weight to begin with. I am to monitor my heart rate and blood pressure regularly and follow up in a month. At which time she may increase the dose if I am doing well.

Last night when we got home, I was so excited, I just wanted to try it to see what it was going to do to me. Was I going to get sick? If so, I wanted to do it then and not today when I have to go to work. I'm already on the "You Suck!" list. So I took one, We stayed up til around 10. I didn't really feel anything out of the ordinary. Then I went to bed. I was wide awake. I was wide awake all night long. I got up to take some sleeping pills at 12 but they did nothing. I finally got to sleep around 4. Slept maybe 3 hours. Got up at 730 this am and took my 2 new pills. In the night my heart was racing so that scared me even though the Dr. warned me of this. My HR was 100. This am, after sleep it was the same but took the pill anyway because I read that your body will get used to it.

This am, I did my cardio workout and checked my pulse frequently and it was never over 145 so I was happy with that. I did sweat alot but I finished the entire workout without tiring so that was exciting for me as well. Now my HR at rest is 80. 80 is good. I like 80!!!


For those of you that are interested in my weight loss journey and the effectiveness/side effects of this drug. I will blog weekly.

Thanks for reading!

Current Weight: 193